Gather 'round kids, it's time for a story.

About 5 months ago or so I went to a Flogging Molly concert in South Carolina with my buddy Bull (open act was Frank Turner, he's amazing. Check him out.) Now the thing to know about Bull is that when we hang out we tend to drink and do stupid/ill-advised things (like turn a disposable camera into a taser). So we were at the show and we got to drinking and having a good time. It's was great and had some good mosh pits, which is rare there. Afterward we went to Denny's to sober up a little and Bull made a great suggestion. He asked if I wanted to go steal a deer. My immediate answer was "Hell yes!".

So, we drive around a little to this trailer park towards the edge of town. In front of it there were two fake deer to advertise since the park was called "Deer Wood". Well, we pulled up next to it assuming the deer were ceramic or target deer or something. We quickly realized they were actually made of cement reinforced with rebar and strapped to the  ground with the things they use to hold trailers down during hurricanes. So there was no way we were going to get them. I didn't want to leave empty handed so I grabbed a free standing fence post with the numbers for the trailers in the park and yanked it out of the ground, threw in the car, and drove off.

About 3 months later I went to SC to visit my gf for a couple months (I'm currently living in Georgia) and when I show up at here new place it all seems a little familiar. I walk up to her front door, but before going in I look across the street and do a double taking. Staring at me from across the way are the 2 deer I tried to steal. Now, my gf new the story but had no idea where the caper had taken place. So I ended having to be reminded daily of my failed quest for 2 months.

I now feel as though I must be destined to steal those deer. And one day I shall return with bolt cutters and a truck and kidnap them. I will mount their heads on my wall and turn their bodies into a kitchen table. I will keep you all updated as it pans out.